This Gap is Normal

Hi Folks,

I’m dealing with perfectionism. It’s crippling me.

But…

I am also gaining clarity on what this project/newsletter will become.

As well as the kind of things I wish to share with you all, and how that all fits into my life and this new direction.

If you recall, all this came from a dream. I wrote about it here if you’re interested in catching up.

This dream, the direction it revealed, and everything that came from it have been a seismic shift for my life. And one I did not see coming. And I use the word “seismic,” with real intention as it has taken a while to find my feet again.

So what I found myself doing was doing nothing at all. At least when it comes to what I am sharing with you all here. I guess I have been waiting for things to settle and become clearer before sharing more.

And now feels like a good time to update you all.

But before I do, I feel the need to point out (and to myself as well) just how normal this is.

In that regard, I was talking with a friend about this recently, and his response was incredibly helpful. Loosely paraphrased, it went, “Your taste is working. That’s why it hurts. It’s not a flaw. It’s signal."

We were talking about taste, creative process, and natural potential.

This can be a powerful combination, but it’s a dangerous one. Dangerous because it can be a paralyzing force when you cannot work through it in a healthy way.

So I need to keep telling myself, “This gap is normal,” and move forward in spite of it. And I need to give myself permission to create regardless of the outcome.

But also, to do this in a safe place where I can control things. Or at least have a sense of control, even if that is not really the case.

Sounds perfectly easy. But it’s not, at least not for me, right now. What is easy is not to start at all. To postpone or overthink, or over-prepare.

But I am working through it. I’m trying my best.

And to do so, I am going to begin to share my new project with you all.

Now you may ask, how does this dovetail into “a contemplative life?”

Honestly, right at this point, I don’t know.

But…

• I do know my personal practice continues.

• I do know my work will always have something to say about our human potential for connection with something deeper and beyond.

• And I do know I need to open myself up to the chaos of an unknown future without fear or judgment.

So, what is this new project?

The new project is a solo music project.

I plan on writing and releasing an EP or album, and will share the process here.

At this point, the first record will be called Chasing Ghosts.

This is a reference, of course, to the vain attempt of chasing after moments that are gone forever. The glory of the past can never be repeated.

At this point, it’s all just an idea and a few notes. As things progress, I will share it all with you.

I will share with you:

• conceptual ideas,

• lyrical ideas,

• song demos,

• updates on album progress,

• meeting with other artists that will help me bring this project to life,

• as well as the inevitable ups and downs.

I also hope to be brave enough to play the demo songs here for you. But it’s been a long time since I played music for anyone, and my voice is not what it used to be…so we will have to wait and see. But for now, that is the plan.

Thank you for being so patient with me. I really hope you stick around for this new phase, but understand if you don’t.

warmly,

Clarke Scott

p.s. The photo above is of me, but 10 years ago. I’ve added it here because I do not have photos of myself, and apparently I need to get used it posting photos of myself if I want this artist thing to become something real.

It was taken around the time I wrote and directed a tiny indie feature film called A Thousand Moments Later. It was a tiny little low-budget, slow-burn arthouse drama. I had a blast making it.

Now that I am moving toward sharing art again, I might upload it, along with a short film I did.

Let me know if that is something you would be interested in.