Those Forks in the Road
Hi folks,
Welcome to this week's, Notes on a Contemplative Life.
Happy New Year to you.
A little story time...
Back in the day, I went to music school. This was the 90s and I was still a teenager.
I'd played music from the time I was about 12 or so. And I'd written my own songs from probably a few years after that.
Later on, I played in bands around my hometown. I was a singer and "frontman" in a hard rock band. (I feel weird about saying that out loud haha). We did a lot of gigs around town but thankfully it ultimately went nowhere.
This led me to study music more formally. First, at a local TAFE college (similar to a community college for those in the U.S.), and finally went on to audition for the exclusive Victorian College of the Arts jazz music program before meeting a Tibetan lama in 1995 and quitting to go off and study with him.
To say music was a big part of my life would be about right. I was not overly attached to it. Although I very much identified as a musician and that is all I wanted to do with my life. But I had a close friend die of a heroin overdose, and another guy I went to music school with went out the same way.
So I was also very happy to leave that life behind as it was the source of so much suffering.
I've not paid much attention to music since.
Side note: If you know of any spiritual musicians please do let me know.
Here are some of my favorites: Arvo Part, Philip Glass, John Coltrane, and I find Nick Cave to be very spiritual but I've not listened to his music a lot. Although the documentary on him was amazing.
When I went off to study with the Tibetan lama I poured myself into studying Buddhist philosophy, and philosophical thinking more generally. The nature of the metaphysics and so on. I loved the feeling of thinking deeply about things that really mattered.
But last night I had a very strange experience that made me think it might be time to take another look at my relationship to music.
I will tell you about that next week as this letter is already getting a little long and I have more to say about all that.
What I've Been Thinking
It's funny how things can turn out.
Life is a series of weird stuff happening. And because in some weird ways what happened to me last night has something to do with what I've been thinking about this week.
I've been thinking a lot about what motivates us fundamentally.
I believe this is important because it can help us understand why we are here and what to do with the time we all have.
For instance, Viktor Frankl has his will to meaning, Freud's will to please (which is a take on the Buddhist idea that all beings want happiness and wish to avoid suffering), and Nietzsche's will to power.
I think the will to truth is an idea that might be worth looking into.
This is that feeling inside you that feels the need to know stuff. What is the meaning of life, it is the will to truth.
I've not thought through it deeply but this seems important to me as it explains, at least in my own case, why I have this strong urge to understand what life is all about. To somehow extract the true meaning of life, and it explains what Jesus and Buddha were pointing to.
That is to say, the more we "know the truth" the more we are free. And freedom here is ultimate happiness, peace, joy, and eternal life in a sense.
What I've Been Reading
I'm still working my way through Viktor Frankl's three books.
Man's Search for Meaning
Yes to Life In Spite of Everything
The Will to Meaning
This led me to two more books that seem relevant
The Body Keeps the Score
The Courage to be Disliked
The title and premise of the last book are so compelling and probably the reason it has sold more than 12 million copies.
I'm really looking forward to getting into it in the coming weeks.
I am amazed by just how strange life's journey can be sometimes.
I'll leave you with a quote from Nick Cave.
Most of us don't want to change, really. I mean, why should we?
What we do want is modifications on the original model.
We keep on being ourselves; but hopefully better versions.
I truly believe that if we can allow for change, it is possible to have a life that is an amazing journey of discovery and rediscovery that leads us closer to the truth—as in, our truth of this life, and the ultimate truth.
By being open to change and listening out for those "forks in the road," we can navigate through life and not miss out on the things that will allow for the better versions of ourselves to be continually evolving.
kind regards,
Clarke Scott