TCL 020: Christmas, a Time of Hope and Loneliness
My mother is 81.
This year is the first year she's not going to have her family together for Christmas, and the suffering is intense.
Her husband (my dad) is in a nursing home. He has been there for 18 months. He no longer recognizes her, despite the fact she insists on telling him who she is every time they are together.
He has not known who I am for longer. I'm okay with that. My years of training have taught me this: everything is constantly changing; it is only when we fight this that suffering arises.
This is true in my own experience. And as they say, the truth will set you free. But it's not a truth that leaves you cold and detached. Rather it is a truth that can look backwards with a gentle loving fondness and forwards with hope. This kind of hope is true wisdom because it is practical.
Ah, hope—the one thing that turns salt into sugar. Too much and it will rot your teeth. But the right amount can turn anything into...yum! Hope is a little like that. Just enough and even the worst of situations can be useful, perhaps even joyful.
It's Christmas! Oh, Christmas—a time of hope indeed.
But also a time of loneliness, and summer for those of us living on this side of the globe. When I was a kid, these two came together. The sun, the surf, and a deep sadness as lonely as the edge of the sea—to borrow a phrase from Merton. But now Christmas is a time of reflection and retreat on what is important. A time to look back to see how the year went. And to look forward to what might be. All of this is made possible, of course, by that little train that could we call, HOPE. I think I can; I think I can. Still a beautiful and important message.